...there was a girl who encountered love.
Little did she know
This love was going to come too late...
Or maybe too soon.
There was no way of her knowing.
The one thing she did know was
This love was real and more than true.
The end drew near,
The pain sprang through her bones
All the way to her soul.
She tried to forget
But this heart inside of her,
Went out of its way to remind her.
This same heart reminded her of
Laughter
Memories
Security
Joy
These things that were all of a sudden gone,
Without her consent.
She found it hard to let them go.
For the first time in her life,
She experienced grief.
The overwhelmingness of sorrow and lonesome.
Feelings she had never felt before.
On this newfound territory,
She found herself often in conversation with The Eternal Listener.
"How will I do this on my own?"
"Help me find myself."
"This doesn't seem fair, help me understand."
Awaiting reply,
She walked with Him and no one else.
Even when the enemy was firing hard,
Her grip grew loose,
But she refused to let go
Simply because she knew He felt the same,
For he had experienced a suffering far beyond.
Change was occurring.
He had whispered His love in her ear.
She began praying more and more,
Searching her heart for what this really meant.
_____
Abba,
I don't blame you for you promised hardship in life and along with those struggles, in Your Name, an increase in strength and perseverance. I have nothing but thanks to repay you. You are a gracious God who loves and would never present anything I couldn't handle.
Lord, you, better than anyone else, knows my feelings for the love that I have found. You know the feeling continues to persist, and my heart still beats for that very love. I would like to believe this tug is there for a reason, but I ask that you reveal this truth to me.
[Without her even knowing, her prayers began evolving.]
_____
Lord,
I am struggling to get this love off of my mind. I can't even help thinking about him. When I'm not thinking of him, he is there sub-consciously and each thought manages to step from him or branch out to him.
Part of me is frustrated and discouraged, because I feel as though I am taking steps back, but the other part of me is more than blessed to at least have the memories, if nothing else, for all of them were good and I wouldn't change them for anything.
I just pray that you will help me step back and see the understanding in this situation and help me grow.
_____
Heavenly Father,
You never fail to amaze me. I am feeling your love and comfort more than ever before. Your presence is evident in my heart and mind. Father, everyday I am feeling stronger by your will. Because of the love you have shown me, especially lately, I have never desired you more.
Lord, the love that I have found remains in my heart, but now in a different way. For some reason I feel like I need to pray. Like I really need to pray. I don't know why, it's just something that has been really heavy on my heart.
But I would like to pray specifically for him. You know who he is.
Lord, more than anything else..
I want him to be happy
In everything that he does and everyone he encounters.
I pray that people see him for his heart and desire for you
And not the position he holds or the people he knows.
Love is sacrifice,
So even if it's not me, than I want him to find love
In someone he deserves.
The best.
P.S.
Since I won't be able to speak to him.. Could you please whisper these words in his ear and..
...make sure he never forgets.
Thank you. I love you.
Amen.
_____
That prayer..
Was when everything began to change.
She was coming back.
She had been refined.
She was forever grateful.
